This has probably happened to you…

(And yes, it still happens to me all the time).

You’ve gone online – perhaps browsing social media, or checking out YouTube or a webinar…

And you’ve come across someone who is clearly successful.

They’re sharing their expertise.

Which is all well and good…

But you feel terrible.

Those people seem to have it all figured out… the strategy, , the free time, the skills, the energy levels and the tenacity to keep going.

They have so many advantages that you don’t have.

It might be natural creative flair… flawless presentation skills industry contacts… high level mentors… great education…

Sometimes it’s just that they’re so darned YOUNG.

They grew up using the internet, so of course they find everything in the digital world much easier than you, with your 20th Century analogue brain.

So you’re half thinking, “This is useful information…” and half thinking, “but this just isn’t possible for me.”

Clearly it’s easy for them to make money online, but you have so much to contend with – family problems, financial worries, educational gaps, health woes, lack of skills, an ageing brain, and… well… you always feel so tired!

It can get to the point that you feel so bad that you give up on your plans or don’t even bother trying at all.

And why?

Because you’re comparing yourself to those guys and girls with great hair who boast about their success, with 1 MILLION LIKES beneath their videos and loads of gushing comments from subscribers.

This can make you feel inadequate, and worried that you don’t have what it takes.

For instance, you might have caught yourself thinking:

“If only I were more confident…

If only I had more time…

If only I’d made different choices ten years ago…

If only I didn’t have these family/financial/health problems…

If only I were younger…

…THEN I’d finally be successful.”

Almost everybody who wants to set up a home business has wrestled with those thoughts at some point…

Especially if they’re trying to start something from scratch later in life, or after previous setbacks.

But what if I told you that those “if onlys” were NOT the real problem?

What if the biggest roadblock to your success isn’t time, confidence, age, or even your life circumstance?

Instead, it’s the result of a psychological trap.

The True Causes of Success and Failure

Recently I came across a compelling idea from neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris about the true causes of success and failure.

He points out that many of us feel personally responsible for everything we are, and everything we are not.

We feel ashamed of our failings and setbacks…

We feel proud of our achievements…

And we feel envious of those who are doing better.

But Harris writes that there’s never a fair roll of the dice.

“There are many of us who are born with every opportunity and virtually no impediments to our wellbeing,” he says. “And there are those who are in the opposite circumstance.”

Basically, some get a good deal in life, others get a raw deal, and there’s a bunch of us somewhere in between.

Most importantly, he adds…

“NONE of us are responsible for where we have entered this game… If you’re intelligent, healthy, capable of effort, surrounded by love and support — not a single one of those advantages was your doing.”

This same applies to your disadvantages.

None of those were your fault either!

So when we compare ourselves to others, strive for constant perfection, or beat ourselves up for not being ‘good enough’… it’s a mistake.

Because we’re comparing different people playing different games with wildly different starting points.

We might assume that the grinning YouTube guru had some special set of qualities and skills that allowed them to get where they are.

But a lot of success comes down to timing and luck.

Once you understand this idea it’s actually very liberating.

It means you can free yourself from constant comparison, resentment about your disadvantages, and the pressure to achieve what the gurus and experts have achieved.

Once you realise how much of your current experience is inherited – not earned, not deserved, not chosen – you can let go of so many unnecessary burdens…

• The need to prove yourself
• The belief that you’re behind
• The anger that you have had it harder than others
• The pressure to always get it right

Instead, you can start to think in a more useful way…

How to Play The Hand You’re Dealt

Okay, so you could probably sit down right now and list your disadvantages in life.

In fact – that might be a good exercise!

Go and grab some paper or open up a blank page on your device if you fancy doing it.

Write down all the things that you believe unfairly hold you back…

The usual culprits are class, education, race, income level, location, physical appearance, mental and physical health, gender, age, upbringing, past trauma…

Now understand this…

None of these were your doing – they were the hand you’ve been dealt in life.

Next to each one you can write: “Not my fault, and cannot do anything about it.”

And then you can cast them aside.

It’s just not helpful to fret over something that you cannot change, or let it stop you from doing the things that CAN effect a change.

Now, as a second step in the exercise, you can list some of your advantages – this might seem harder to do, but it could be the little things we take for granted, but which others might lack.

I mean things like “being physically mobile”, “having lots of life experience”, “being married to a supportive partner”, “a monthly pension,” “having a roof over my head,” “owning a computer,” “natural curiosity”, “good head for figures.”

Now these are ALSO the hand you’ve been dealt.

They’re what you’ve got, for better or worse.

So the question is – what cards can YOU play with the hand in front of you.

After all, that’s all that matters, right?

It might not be the best hand, but you’re still in the game.

Instead of obsessing over your value as a person, compared to other people, you can start focusing on what you do with what you’ve got.

A Simple Mindset Shift

Really, this is about a subtle shift in your mindset from a focus on your disadvantages to a focus on your strengths.

Because one of the biggest hidden killers of success in a home business isn’t a lack of skills, ideas, artistic flair, experience, or life privileges…

It’s your own internal resistance.

You don’t write that eBook… you don’t attempt to create that course… you don’t show up to the seminar…

And all because an inner voice says:

“Who am I to do this?”

“Other, better people have it all figured out.”

“I’m not in the right situation.”

“I face too many obstacles.”

But when you consider that NONE of us choose our starting point, and NONE of us choose our luck, then you can stop feeling inadequate.

You don’t need to be perfect.

You don’t need to achieve exactly what others have achieved.

It’s okay to do your own version of something, in your own way, in your own time.

Maybe it won’t make quite as much money…

Maybe it won’t be as easy for you as someone else…

Maybe it will happen much more slowly…

But if you don’t act at all then NOTHING will happen at all.

So the key is to make a start, no matter how small.

Use the Kaizen principle and ask yourself:

“What’s one thing I could do today in pursuit of my own business goal?”

Pick something, and go for it!

Each time you do this, you’ll build up momentum and confidence.

And if you’ve been inspired by today’s email to get cracking on something, do tell me what you’re up to!