I am proud to say that I’m experienced in rejection.

It began at an early age…

As a precocious kid, I was convinced that my teenage writings were so excellent, they should be published for ALL to read…

Cue: a bunch of kind rejection slips from publishers saying “it’s not the right thing for us at this time”.

When I became an avant-garde poet as a student in Wales, I continued to pile up the rejections.

I was stung by some of these, I’ll admit…

But I began to see it as a badge of honour.

Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick…. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22… Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein….

They were all rejected, initially.

So I was in good company!

After I swapped my literary ambitions for career goals, I realised there was more rejection to come.

My first job interview.. “NO!”

(I didn’t want the stupid job anyway).

And my second… “NO!”

(Erm, I actually did want that one).

Anyway, I knew from a young age what rejection felt like – and, no matter how philosophical you are about being rejected – it’s not a great experience.

Someone is turning you down… telling you “No.”

And it’s not just something that’s relevant to actors, authors, musicians or writers of TV and film…

I’m sure you’ll have experienced it, too.

It could be personal rejections from potential romantic relationships… friends who let you down when you need them… or people who ignore you.

Or it could be work-based rejections…

Failed job interviews, unsuccessful promotion bids or requests for flexible hours that are turned down…

Then there are business rejections…

The refusal of a loan or finance… or a refusal from a potential JV partner, mentor or publisher…

Sometimes its customers…

Replies of “no”, or “not interested”, to sales calls, promotional emails and upsells…

Perhaps it’s that woeful trickle of sales after you launch something that you were hoping people would love and buy in their droves.

The lack of sales is like a thousand mini rejections at once.

Horrible. Horrible. Horrible.

There’s no denying it…

BUT here’s the brutal truth.

We All Need to Be Rejected

Disappointment is hardwired into the process of succeeding at ANY ambitious project.

A stand-up comedian has to do multiple dozens of shows (some say over a HUNDRED) where they face a pitiless, hostile audience who reject them… before they eventually ‘get the knack’ and generate laughs.

Most actors say they spend more time trying and failing auditions than they do actually working on a job.

Or take the example of Bob Brody, the 73-year old author of Playing Catch With Strangers: A Family Guy (Reluctantly) Comes of Age.

In The Guardian last week he wrote an editorial piece about rejection.

He says he started pitching story ideas and submitting manuscripts 50 years ago.

In that time, he’s had two novels rejected, along with rejected proposals for nonfiction books, short stories and articles.

Since turning his hand to essays and op-eds, he says that in a typical week, he gets a rejection every few days!

So what’s his advice?

Well, he recommends that you understand the “stages of rejection”:

• Shock. “How could this happen? How could these people be blind to my talent?”
• Denial. “Surely you’ve rejected the wrong person? This must be an error.”
• Dismissal. “What do any of you know? You’re stupid. I reject your rejection.”
• Anger (at those who rejected you, followed by anger at yourself). “Why do I do this to myself?
• Bargaining.” What will it take to convince you to recognise me as a talent?”
• Depression. “I’m no good. What’s more, I’ll never be any good.”

You might recognise these emotions from your past attempts at starting a home business.

When it fails to work up you might feel shock… denial… dismissal… anger… bargaining… then depression.

But rather than take it personally, you should see it as a natural process that all successful people go through.

In his op-ed, Brody points out that Sylvester Stallone reckons his script for Rocky and his bid to be the film’s star were turned down 1,500 times.

“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat,” Stallone has said.

What To Learn from Your Failure

Brody says that in older age, after thousands of disappointments, he has achieved the FINAL, seventh stage of rejection, which is..

“Acceptance”.

That means you accept that rejection happens – and that it’s okay – and then use this experience to progress further in your ambitions.

After all, there could be lots of rational reasons why you have been rejected, which aren’t your fault, or things you necessarily could have changed.

It might be that a trend has shifted… a niche has become overcrowded… a competitor launched something too similar too recently…

And sometimes, yes, you need to accept when it might be a failing of your own.

Perhaps you didn’t crunch all the numbers… there was a piece missing from the marketing… you didn’t follow the steps…. You rushed things you procrastinated too long… or got distracted from the primary goal.

It just requires a bit of time… and a little calm… to do a post-mortem that considers all the potential causes.

Then you can work out what you could do better next time.

Brody says this…

“Rejection can also fortify your spirit. It knocks you down and defies you to get back on your feet…. It can stiffen your resolve, too, because the more you are rejected, the more mightily you might strive to break through.

Rejection gives you an education in the art of resilience, the capacity to bounce back from failure, an attribute essential to sustaining an entrepreneurial mindset.”

I couldn’t agree more…

Bouncing back from disappointment is the key to a successful entrepreneurial mindset.

When you accept that you will fail occasionally, you can keep pushing forward without letting that failure halt your ambitions.

All successful entrepreneurs stall… fail… get their offerings rejected…

But they use that to come back stronger next time.

That’s what leads to success.

Or as Brody’s put:

“The sooner you learn to adapt to no,the sooner you’ll have a shot at yes.”

So if you’re feeling a little dejected and rejected recently, please don’t let it get you down.

Stick at it!

Eventually, your efforts will pay off.